Like Adam and the Israelites I was tested, and failed. But maybe one day I will be like Abraham and succeed. Such unconditional faith is what I strive for…

Last Ramadan I found myself spending my iftars and suhoors alone; My journey continues, as it often does, alone. The only other presence, the itsy-bitsy spider that lives in my bathroom. And even he probably could not be bothered as he has not yet crossed my path.  (If that happens I’ll just ask for some rent). Instinct dictates that I must squash him. I tried putting it into perspective…I’m quite adamant he becomes paralyzed in fear if I’m ever in the vicinity of his web. What could he possibly want with me when I could flick him into space? Also, I’m not a fan of the resounding CRUNCH that reverberates off the tile, the din seemingly vibrating through my soul. (Maybe there’s a Charlotte’s web reference to be made here? Or perhaps a better spider joke? Like maybe he’s a web developer in training or something?)

Ah…yes…we got so off topic there. As I was saying, I am once again taking this spiritual journey alone. I have not yet started to fast as I’ve been menstruating…

Background for those that may not know: Women are granted mercy from fasting. We are, after all, losing copious amounts of nutrients and fluids, and are, at times, physically incapable of taking part in daily activities due to the increase in stress and anxiety hormones. BUT REALLY! LET’S THINK ABOUT THE AGONY THE BODY WOULD UNDERGO (or that’s what I remind myself).

It feels almost sacrilegious. I have come to discover that many Muslim women feel at a loss and are spiritually disadvantaged when they are menstruating. Despite the commonality in our emotions -from not being able to perform religious duties- I have yet to feel comfortable with the advice that we earn spiritual closeness to God by not partaking. Not eating nor drinking, and not focusing on the desire to do both allows our minds and bodies to feel connected. We slow our routine and return to a mindset wherein life becomes living for each day rather than expecting another. And, it’s wonderful because family time and self-awareness is boosted.


One thought on “Introduction

  1. It does feel like a disadvantage most especially during Ramadan, but I also think I’m more appreciative of it as I get older. I do agree though, I can’t achieve the same spiritual closeness by any other act as compared to fasting, so during Ramadan it almost feels like wasted time. Especially if you’re missing an entire ashra.

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